Beckett, you friggin' stud you!

Holy hell, Beckett is a stud. 8-0 folks! 8 and freakin' 0. 7 innings, 7 strike outs. Do ya'll know that my lucky number is 7? 7 deadly sins, 7 dwarfs, 7 days of the week, 7 wonders of the world and in water polo each team plays with 7 players. I like the number 7. Especially when our starting pitcher can get through said inning with 7 strike outs and only 3 hits.





Everything is coming up roses and it's scaring the bejezus out of me. Pedroia has found time in between field trips to Drumlin Farm to hit over .300. Youklis has extended his hitting streak to 21 games. Beckett is freakin' 8-0 in case you haven't heard. Life is good in Red Sox Nation. I'm going to kick back an enjoy this.





It's total bullsh*t that Clemens isn't starting this weekend. I know, "it's like he's still in Spring training," they say. It's not because I would want to totally rip him to shreds on Saturday, it's because I want to see what he can actually do for the Albatross of NYC. Can he really save them? Is their season a wash out even before the All Star Ballots have been counted?

Well, this weekend brings another Yankmee/Sox Series and even though the are so far behind it still pains me to see them put any sort of hurtin' on the Sox. I'll be spending another gorgeous early summer afternoon hunkered down with Cuz Dimples, Wooderson and whoever else we can rally, in some dark Red Sox biased bar hoping and praying that they cut the sound on so we can play "Drinking with Chien Ming Wang?" Because really, when life is this good in Red Sox Nation, what more do you need?

Random Musings from a Random Mind

Here is where I fill this space with random thoughts because I didn't pay too much attention to last nights game. In between solving the world's problems with Wooderson on the deck and going into the house to get another beer, we'd periodically stop by the couch and lean over Cuz Dimples to see the score. Schilling looked better than his last two starts. He didn't give up 5 runs in the 1st, and I thank him for that. Papelbot scared me a little, I'm not going to lie. Honey, can hear me? It's OK- just don't almost blow it again.

I know we all have or have had those pesky Yankmee fans in our life. God help them if they come with the accent too, but it's not those fans that bother me the most. It's the people who find out I'm a Sox fan and simple decide to take that as a free ticket to be a "Yankmee Fan for the Day". You people get under my skin. Except this year. I'm going to knock on wood, throw chicken bones on the floor and bust out my free 10 minutes with the Psychic Friends Network for saying this but; The Sox look like they have a shot. Now chill out, I know we have issues but here is the key: We don't have as many issues as the rest of the AL East.

I decided this year that I didn't waste enough time on the Internet, so on top of writing this blog I also play Fantasy Baseball. I've smoked every opponent every single week. Except last week, I lost. I was horrified. Embarrassed! You know why? My opponents team was made up of Pittsburgh Pirates players. Now settle down ND Bucco- I'm just saying that to get you all riled up. My opponent team was actually a split between Pirates and Yankee's and they STILL beat me. I blame it all on Schilling and his awful outing. I never blame Wakefield. Even at his worst, I still love that guy. He is to me like what Trot is to El Guapo.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee kicks off soon. Last chance to get your bets in. A.J. Daulerio gave a great run down of the whos who in the Spelling Bee world. My personal favorite was the kid who almost hyperventilated between every single letter last year. Place hands over mouth and breath rapidly. Try not to look like a total dork. Mission: unsuccessful. The girl who won it all last year, won it by spelling: ursprache. To be quite honest, it peeves me when 11 year olds are smarter than me.

This tid bit of news is quite disturbing. Julian "Batshit" Tavarez, has come out to say that when he was a child his fall back career was that of an adult film star. Oh yah, I'm talking about this guy. The one who looks like a stoned Freddy Krugger. If the threat of him becoming a porn star doesn't bring the entire multi-national adult film industry to a grinding halt, I just don't know what would. But I guess if this guy didn't make that happen, Jooles might have a chance.

In other sporting news The 2007 Cheese-Rolling at Cooper's Hill Gloucester took place last weekend. Apparently the cheese travels at up words of 80 miles an hour. The people don't look like they are going quite that speed but you tend to slow down when your spine catches on a spiky rock. Fortunately, no cheese was hurt in the making of this film. Big E, that's where you should have been last weekend. Tumbling ass over tea kettle following a wagon wheel of cheese. If I did that I know I would be signing " Hanker for a hunk of, a piece or slice, or chunk of - I hanker for a hunk of CHEESE"

In closing, I know you people are out there. I've talk to you. I've shared beers with you! With some of you I've shared more. Why aren't you giving us feedback. As much as El Guapo and I like hearing ourselves talk ( more so him than me- he's got quite a healthy ego that boy!) we would love to hear what you have to say. Are you obsessed like us or are you just enjoying watching our manic depressive schizophrenic cathartic episodes in order to make yourselves feel better about your own issues? Hmm...that's what I thought.

What's the Definition of Class? TROT NIXON

People who know me, know that I love everything about Trot Nixon. The man is a true class act. He shows up at the ballpark everyday and gives everything his body is physically capable of to his team. He and his wife work hard in the community, sharing their good fortunes with others who might not be so fortunate. He is a constant professional and one of the best teammates that has ever put on a Red Sox uniform. He played a crucial roll in bringing a World Series Championship to the city of Boston....a task that none of the greats (Yaz, Fisk, Teddy-Baseball, Rice, Clemens, Foxx, Pesky, etc) could accomplish. He was everything wonderful and unfortunately the business of baseball got in the way of seeing him retire in the same uniform he played his first major league baseball game in.

I'll take you back to this past off-season....a time that really irks me because the Red Sox brass made a stupid, stupid mistake. Thinking that Trot was washed up, they decided to throw a retarded amount of money at a selfish, self loving, injury prone, money hungry player by the name of J.D. Drew. This is the same guy who, drafted by the Phillies in 1997, refused to play because he thought so highly of himself that he didn't want to play for a lowly organization like the Phillies. So what did he do? He wouldn't accept any amount of money from them and re-entered the draft the next year. This is the guy who couldn't get along with managing legend Tony LaRussa in St. Louis. Then he goes to the LA Dodgers, signs what some might consider a pretty lucrative contract, and opts out of the final 2 seasons. Why you ask? So that he could make more money on a weak free agent outfielder market, even though the Dodgers were on the cusp of being a World Series contender. Everything with this guy is self before team. Then to top it all off, he has the audacity to wear the same #7 that Trot Nixon wore for the past 13 years. This pile of puke is a total turd!

So last night was tough.....real tough. I sat there alone in my friend's basement as he grilled up some burgers in the backyard. I didn't really want anyone around me. I didn't know what my reaction would be. I sat there and watched the wonderful expanded coverage on NESN as Trot took to the field for the first time wearing something other than a Red Sox uniform. It was heart wrenching, but wonderful as the crowd went crazy for him. Then the 2nd inning came....it was Trot's time to step into the batters box. This is where it got real tough. I don't know if it was my allergies, my sadness for what I was about to watch, or maybe a combination of the two, but my eyes welled up good. This was it. This was the day I had marked on my calendar since the schedule came out in December. This was Trot's return to Fenway and I felt damn proud to have watched that guy give this organization everything for 13 wonderful years. Better yet, I could tell by the crowd's reaction, I wasn't the only one who felt this way. To top it off, Schilling's control problems showed up at the right time as he hung one high in the strike zone and Trot slapped it to Right Field. Well done my friend, well done!

Ok so enough of the sappy crap. It wouldn't be an El Guapo blog without some stats, right? Here's how Trot and JD sit after their teams have played 50 games this season.

JD Drew
Games: 44
At Bats: 147
Runs: 26
Hits: 35
Doubles: 6
Homeruns: 2
Batting Average: .238
Runs Batted In: 16
On Base Percentage: .362
2007 Salary: $14 million

Trot Nixon
Games: 39
AB: 138
Runs: 19
Hits: 39
Doubles: 9
Homeruns: 2
Batting Average: .283
Runs Batted In: 21
On Base Percentage: .358
2007 Salary: $3 million

It doesn't take much to figure out here who has more "bang for the buck". I'd take a beat up old Dirt Dog over a high priced whore any day!

So here's to you Trot. I raise a pint of Wachusett's Green Monstah Pale Ale to you and say "Thank you for everything. We miss you a lot and you will always be welcome back in Boston, no matter what uniform you are wearing. Make us proud old buddy!"

Exhausted

Right now, I know exactly how the Red Sox feel. I'm friggin exhausted and worn down! Check out the eerie similarities in straight out, non-stop action in our last weeks here.

Brent: 4 wild, action packed days in New Orleans for my bachelor party, a night of drinking, Red Sox loses, and dinner with Gillibean, Couz Dimples, Wooderson, the fiance, and a bunch of my work buddies, a trip to Camden Yaaads to see the O's bullpen blow another one, a furniture shopping trip to IKEA, and finally packing to move out due to my recent eviction. Toss a few work days that go from 7am - 5:30pm and you know why I'm exhausted.

Red Sox: 8 games, a rainout, 3 games in the Bronx, some interleague play versus our "rival" (pff..whatever).....and all of this went on during a 7 day span. Considering we came out of it 5-3, that ain't bad at all.

So it's pretty easy to understand why both the team and I have about zero energy right now.

Luckily, the Sox had last night off and look to turn the corner versus the Rangers in Arlington tonight. That's a good ball park for the Sox. It's a pure hitters ball park and all my met herbs out there (Yo! Yo! Shout out to all the weather weenies in the house, especially Gillibean's love slave Dick Albert!) know how well the ball travels down there in the steamy land of Shiner Bock, George Bushes, and Longhorns. As they say back home, "it goes wicked faaaaah". And this, combined with a well deserved day off, is exactly what the doctor ordered for the recent lack of clutch hits at the plate. Oh yeah and I guess it doesn't hurt when the Texas Rangers have a team ERA of 5.12 going into Friday's action. That is good for 29th in the league, with only the Tampa Bay "When do we drop Satan from our name?" Devil Rays being worse. As all the illegal Mexicans down there would say "Muy bien!"

With that said, here's a few predictions I have for the weekend:

• Youk's goatee will continue to grow exponentially over the next few days and by the end of the trip to Texas, Youk will look like a member of ZZ Top. Dr. Emmett Brown and I took a trip into the future and snapped this picture on the right of Youk in the airport on Sunday night on the team's way back to Boston
• With the lack of productivity from the Chicago White Sox (Ray's weekend opponent) and the Sox playing in Texas, our good friends from the Lonestar state might end up with the worst ERA in the league after this weekend. As the late great Brad Delp would belt out "It's more than a feeling".
• Manny is cocky right now after his diving/rolling/flailing catch in the outfield the other day. At least once this weekend, Manny's spandexian "doo-rag" will fall off as he attempts a similar play and ends up with a mouth full of grass and the ball rolling around in the corner behind him. Someone please tell him he's not Coco out there. Paying tribute to Manny's heroics in the outfield, Rem Dawg will show up in the booth at least once this weekend with his "doo-rag" on.
  
• Dustin Pedroia will not be allowed into the clubhouse at Arlington Stadium because security will mistake him for a 12 year old child looking to get the autograph of Big Papi. So look for some prime playing time for Alex Cora this weekend!

Ok well that's it from here. Thanks for all the letters, e-mails and phone calls of support that I received while I was on my little hiatus. You made me feel great and welcome. Oh wait....Gillibean is telling me I didn't get any. Ok well screw you all!

Have a great weekend!

...*sigh*

I feel like that guy right up there this morning. Too ashamed to even show my face. I've been bombarded with emails from a certain Yankmee fan. You- over there in White Plains- Kiss my...

Where to start. First off, no more watching games with El Guapo. He calls home runs for the other team! I blame at least two runs on him alone. The rest is on Curt. Holy Smokes! I mean, I wasn't serious Curt when I said, you were a washed up old bum who couldn't strike out my dead grandmother. But hell, now I'm thinking I wasn't being overly dramatic. Not that I ever get overly dramatic, not me. No way. In all seriousness though, what is wrong with you dude?? Curt blogged today, "A craptastic finish to what could have been a nice series." Craptastic indeed. Shiteous in fact.

Let's take a gander at the box scores to see how heinous his performance really was. Schill pitched six innings. Shocking. I thought for sure after the third they were going to pull him. I bet he begged Uncle Tito to let him stay in. Promised him he would stop trying to solicit funds for his various charities. Crossed his heart and hoped to die that he would stop spending so much time on Internet gaming sites and get out there and find the freaking strike zone! But I digress, over those six inning Schill allowed 12 hits and 6 runs. Two monster home runs! Not only that but the fielding behind him was like that in a Keystone Cop series.

What is truly telling in this whole debacle is the Yankmees had 16 hits. We had 12. They had 8 runs, we had 3. The age old Red Sox problem. Converting base hits into runs. Oh my- haven't seem much written on this problem. It is nothing: Eads, Jackie Mac, CHB, Lobel, Remy or the numerous other Boston sports writers haven't touched upon like, oohhh every frikken year. This year I thought I saw the tide turning. We were getting 2 out hits and even 2 out runs! The Yankmees shut that down right quick last night.

I have nothing further to say on this matter. No fancy links to funny sites. No quippy remarks. The game sucks. End of story. Lester please hurry!! Schilling just doesn't look right. He has no command. No spark in his fast ball. I pray to the gods of baseball. I beg of Uncle Tito. Do not let Schilling start against Clemens next weekend. Beckett- get your finger super glued and hike up your skirt! If you want to read what Curt has to say for himself go here.

Happy Memorial Weekend. This isn't just a weekend of BBQs and Harleys. This is a time to say thanks. Thank you to all the men and women that have given their lives for this country so proudly.

And Manny More......

We're not going to take this lying down folks. Oh no Jeter, you put that broom back where you had it stuck before. No sweep for you this week! We are not going to let the Spankees take the series either. Not on Schilling's watch. No siree! Coming off two less than stellar starts, Curt is pissed. Real pissed. And you don't get a man of God and Dungeons and Dragons pissed. The Yankmees are desperate, real desperate. What does the equation add up to? Melee folks. I just feel one upon us. A good old fashion bench clearing, glove in the face, kick 'em in the nuts brawl. Jeter got hit by a pitch in the first game and pushed back at the plate hard in the second. A-fraud got a little over zealous with his slide ito second and almost cut itty bitty Pedroia off at the knees. If Schilling looks sharp tonight I think they will wait until a middle reliever comes in and then BAM! Right in the kisser. Not that I advocate dinging a batter. But sometimes folks, that is how the game must be played.

It's Schilling versus Pettitte tonight. Pettitte is 2-3 for the season with an ERA of 2.83. There is a big spot light on the Yankees right now. Giambi opened his big fat sweaty mouth and now he is in danger of losing his contract. The pitching still leaves a lot to be desired. If we can keep Pettitte's pitch count up we can get to their bullpen quicker. That's where the real problem is. Moose is quoted as saying, he really doesn't feel like he has contributed anything to the team this year. That's some motivational talk coming from your starting pitcher.

Let's hope there is more of Manny doing what Manny does so well. Being totally freakin' awesome at the plate. What I'd like to see tonight is this: TOTAL RED SOX DOMINATION.

But isn't that what every girl wants?

Monday Mornings Suck

The title says it all. First of all, I did not watch one inning of Sox baseball all weekend. So don't look here for witty insightful comments regarding the knock down drag out slug fest of a double header on Saturday or the stellar outing from Gabbard on Sunday. I see Gabbard as being a great addition to the team- he just needs a little bit more molding. 5.0 innings and a career high 7 strike outs for Gabbard.

Tonight it's off to The Bronx. Let's put the final nails in the Yankmee coffin, boys. The Yanks pulled within 10.5 games now. Although it's always entertaining to see them battle it out in the post season, I think I could take a year with no Sox/Yanks foot race to the finish line. Red Sox Nation, forgive me.

Wakefield will take the mound versus Chein-Ming Wang. My cousin and I propose a drinking game for all those watching on NESN tonight. Drink every time Remy or DO says Chien-Ming Wang's name in full. I bet you won't make it to the 7th inning stretch. They never mention him by just his last name. Nothing says international relations debacle like putting a Bahstin accent on a Chinese name.

I do believe El Guapo will be back with us shortly from Man Weekend 2007. Hopefully with incriminating photos and sure to be entertaining stories from NOLA.

Hold it now...Hold it now....Hit IT!

The Sox never seem to disappoint. From air guitar in the booth to diving catches and face plants, the second game of the day night double header was both entertaining and disturbing to watch. One must not forget that these guys go out there and play 162 games a year. Last night two players put their bodies on the the line for the team. Pedroia and Hinske both had full extension attempts in the outfield. Hinske actually made one and hung on to it after a face plant on the warning track. Thank God for the bill of his cap. El Guapo- take a good look at Pedroia. He might not crank out 100 RBI's a year but he's scrappy as hell and I like him. Thanks to Mama Pedroia for signing the permission slip allowing him to play!

Let's get the disturbing aspect out of the way first. Schilling, Curt, Sweetie. What. The. F*ck? Let's look at what you have to say for yourself this dreary May morning after you totally crapped your pants on the mound. Actually, forget what you have to say- let's listen to what I have to say. You're old, I get that. The wind was effecting fly balls, OK I'll believe that. You haven't walked more than two in a whole game and you had back to back walks last night. This is your second piss poor start in a row. In the grand scheme of baseball it wasn't horrible but I expect more from you; you're freakin' Curt Schilling! Our numero uno! Get it together, dude. Six innings, eight hits and four walks. You are truly lucky that you have some strong fielding behind you or the score would have been much higher. I was looking forward to a Schilling/Rocket match up. Not any more. God please- if you have one ounce of mercy please do not match those two up. It could cause me to stroke out with humiliation.

We took the series against the Tigers and I don't feel like crawling into the box scores this morning. It's Friday and this weekend brings us inter league play. Bud Selig was in the booth last night with Remy and DO. Everyone was pleasant enough to each other; they discussed Bonds and whether Selig would be there for Bond's breaking Aaron's record. Answer; he hasn't decided yet. They discussed the natural rivalries of inter league play and Selig did a great job of selling it. After he left, Remy set forth a tirade on his dislike of interleave play. I really hope Selig caught that clip somewhere, somehow. Way to stick it to the man Remy!

Let's have some fun with captions this morning!

Schilling: "Yah, I see it. You were right"

Tek "Yep- there goes your career. Right in the...."

Pedroia: "And I thought Mom was pissed at my ring around the collar. She's gonna freak when she sees this stain!"

Hinske: "You were right! Home runs are totally neato, Uncle Tito!!"

You lookin' at me?! Are you? Lookin' at me?

Part one of a day night double header folks, is in the books. Stellar pitching by the Sox. Tavarez pitched 7 innings, allowed 4 hits, 4 walks and 1 run- struck out 3. Not too shabby Batshit, not too shabby. Okajima came in for an inning and showed us that you really don't need to look to see if the ball is going where you want it. You can just see it in your minds eye and will it to go there. Whatever the hell that means- but seriously, his delivery ends up with him staring right at the ground. Whatever works for you dude, just keep doing what you're doing. Okajima is rocking! He's had 17 2/3 scoreless innings. 21 of his last 42 outs have been strike outs. And his split finger was insane today. You sir- have been a great addition to the team. You've earned yourself your own bar stool at Fugakyu!



The top of the 9th brought in Mr. PapelBonFire! Hi baby. I saw you lookin' at me. That's some stare in you got there. I bet that even gets Mirabelli hot. Yowza! I'll admit I was stuck in a meeting for the middle part of the game but I did get a chance to see the 8th and 9th. The Sox pitching retired the last 13 Tigers in a row! Paps had a blazing fastball today as well as a sick splitter and a slider that almost took Casey's elbow off.


Today's first game was all about pitching. Tonight's start goes to Schilling. Let's hope with him come some blazing bats and more of Manny's ponytail. Wicked cute!

Rain Out = Nothing Important to Talk About

So as I sit here on Thursday morning, a morning after a Red Sox game was rained out, I wonder what I should write about. Now you are probably thinking, "well why don't you just wait til tomorrow morning and you'll have 2 games to ramble on about." Unfortunately, during my usual blogging time, I'll be sitting around at BWI waiting to board my Southwest flight to New Orleans for 2007's version of "Man Weekend" or better known as "Brent's Bachelor Party". So you all will get a well earned break from my verbal nonsense until Tuesday. I guess old Gillo will have to carry you through the weekend.

So this morning I thought about things and I figured I'd give you an update as to who my new favorite Sox player should be. In my lifetime (since I was born in 1976), there have only been 2 players who have been able to carry the title of "Brent's Favorite Sox Player".

The first one, who still remains near and dear to my heart, was Dwight "Dewey" Evans. I loved watching him more than anything and today he is probably still my favorite Red Sox player of all time. The dude played an impressive 18 year career (1972-1990) out there patrolling right field better than anyone who I've ever seen. The man left it all out on the field and didn't care at all about the impact to his body. He had that whole "team before self" attitude that you really don't see with today's primadonna players. He was an old school baseball player and that is why I loved him so much. It also didn't hurt that he was a 3 time All Star, 8 time Gold Glover, put up an impressive 385 homeruns in the pre-steroids era and had that awesome pornstar/fireman's mustache . All around the man was remarkable and I curse the day that the Red Sox traded him to the Baltimore Orioles for a sack of baseball and a bucket of pine tar. Dewey should have ended his glorious career with the Red Sox, but they never gave him that chance. Shame on them! Boy would I give anything to see them make it up to him and retire his number in Fenway. It will probably never happen, but a boy can dream.

So after Dewey retired, I was caught up in a funk, similar to where I am now. I didn't have a favorite player anymore and that's kinda a dilemma. Players came and went. As with most Sox fans, I went through the whole "Mo Vaughn rules" phase, but it just wasn't the same. Nomar was great too and he still goes down as one of my favorite players, but he just didn't carry the same "oomph" that I had for Dewey.

That changed in 1999 when a man by the name of Trot Nixon took over as the Red Sox everyday right fielder. The man was everything that Dewey was.....dirt, grit, sweat, tears, "team before self" and I knew right there, he would be the one. Ok, now you are probably saying, "he had nothing close to the greatness of Dewey" and you won't get an argument out of me. There were no gold gloves, there were no 300+ homeruns (hell he barely over 130), but in a time of the self-loving, 'roid popping, multi-million dollar ball player, he was everything old school that I loved to see. So I took him as my favorite player and had a great 9 seasons of watching him play. But once again the Red Sox brass decided to break my heart. In the winter of 2006/07, they decided to part ways with old Trot and his bad back and go with a "healthier player" in the name of J.D. Drew. Yes this is the same J.D. Drew who caused nothing but problems for the Phillies (even though he never played for them), Cardinals, and Dodgers. Now we were replacing our local class act and all around poster-boy for "team before self" with an injury plagued primadonna. Muy bien! Wonderful! I was sick to my stomach. And then there was opening day.....my biggest fear came true. J.D. Drew jogs out onto the field sporting Trot's number 7. UGH! I hated every minute of it and to this day still continue to. To me, there's only one person who has earned the right to wear #7 and that is the original dirt dog, Trot Nixon.

So that brings me to where I am now. I need a favorite player. Again, there are many Sox that love, but they are not at a place where I can call them my favorite player. Papi is great, but he's a DH and I need someone who gets dirty. Varitek is a true leader, but he will probably be on his way into retirement in another year or two, so I'm not willing to have my heart broken again so soon. Manny? Ugh I wont even go there. Anyone on the pitching staff? Probably not. I'm not into the whole "I cant play cause I have a blister" stuff. It's just not old school enough for me. I guess the top contender for the title of "Brent's favorite player" is currently with Kevin Youkilis. The dude plays hard, plays every position Tito asks of him, and is as tough as nails. I guess it's just too soon to say he'll replace Trot though. So I'll wait another season or two....nothing wrong with that. They always say you shouldn't jump into one relationship right after you got out of another (as gay as that may sound), but I think I'm going to follow that advice and wait to see who gets the coveted spot as "Brent's favorite player".

Take care and I'll be checking back in next week. See ya!

Wakefield: It ain't just a town, it's a state of mind

From an ERA of 1.79 to 2.41 in one night. That hurts as much as Mr. Drew smacking up against the outfield wall. Seriously though, knowing what he knows about his body ( that it's basically made up out of Jenga pieces) why would he risk that play with the low wall behind him?He's lucky he didn't split his tired old spine in two! Youkilis, when asked his first reaction to Drew hitting the wall responded, "Ouch". Genius.

I'm not going to get all technical on this one. That ERA stat is probably the only one I'll throw out there today because it's Wednesday and I'm tired and I still have half a week left until I can focus solely on baseball. Verlander pitched like Leyland threatened castration if he didn't throw fire on every pitch. From what I've seen of Leyland the possibility of that exact threat is pretty good. Verlander was rookie of the year last year, and it seems he has steered clear of the Sophomore slump so far. He's 4-1 on the year and has kept his ERA under 3.00. OK, so I lied about staying away from the stats. Verlander kept the Sox guessing all night. He pitched a great game and there really isn't more to say about it than that. He had 122 pitches and threw 79 for strikes. Not too shabby. So I'll move on to trivial thoughts I had during last nights game.

Big Papi has 16 doubles so far this season. Get! Out! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing Papi go yard more than anyone. Hell, I have a Jordanesque silhouette shirt of Papi in home run stance- but there is almost nothing more satisfying than seeing your DH eek out a double. Except maybe when he steals a base. That's even more rare and more entertaining.

It was truly nice to see that Wake got a standing O even when getting the loss for the game. He is a consummate professional that has given Boston many great years of baseball. Although I enjoy watching power pitchers "K" there way through games, Wakefield always provides more insight into the slower more methodical side of baseball. Good for those hungover Sundays when you just couldn't possibly jump up and scream at every Beckett strike out.

Brandon Merriweather, the Pats first round draft pick, was at the game last night. He looked just thrilled to be there. Those seats probably cost more than my grocery bill for the month and he's on his PDA the whole time I think. Hopefully he was memorizing the play book. Listen up Brandon, that's the only excuse for not enjoying a Sox game that I'll accept. Study up, son! See you in August.

Lastly I'll leave you with this lovely Ape Drape from Magglio Ordonez. You rock that mullet baby!

Two down and two more to go with the Rock City Tigers. On the mound tonight we have Julian "Batshit Insane Soon to Be Replaced With the Comeback Kid of the Century" Tavarez who is 1-4 on the season with a 6.60 ERA. Dios mio, Julian. Lester, please hurry!!!

BANZAAAAI!

So I'm sitting on the bus yesterday, riding home from work, and I get a phone call. Being too deep into a great podcast of NPR: Car Talk, I took a quick look at the caller ID, saw it was my parents, and figured I'd give them a call when I got off the bus.

As I got off the bus and the podcast was over, I gave them a call. My Mom says "A friend of mine called and asked if I wanted some free tickets to the Red Sox. So your father and I are going to the game. I figured I'd call to let you know." I was like "yeah more like rubbing it in." Then it hit me.....Daisuke (or Dice-K for the kids out there) Matsuzaka was pitching last night. This would be great!

Now let me give you a little background on my Dad. He grew up an avid Sox fan during a handful of the good years, but mostly bad years. So he still has this mentality that the Sox (and Patriots for that matter) are born losers and that no matter what they do , they will end up on with the shit end of the stick. Basically he's the typical New England pessimist when it comes to sports. So this off season when the Sox paid $52 million to talk to the Seibu Lions about acquiring Daisuke, he thought they were on drugs. He thought they were more-so on drugs for shelling out $51 million to a pitcher who had never thrown a pitch in MLB. So after Daisuke pitched his first game against the Royals, you could tell my he had my Dad's attention, but I think he wanted Daisuke to prove himself against a real team and not the armpit of the American League, the Kansas City Royals.

Soon thereafter, Daisuke hit a rough patch. I specifically remember my Dad calling me after his Fenway debut and saying "We got stuck with a loser again. I can't believe we spent that much money on this guy. He stinks." The old pessimist that I kn0w and love was back!

Now where's this going? Well I thought it was great that for my Dad's first live game of the season, Daisuke was taking to the mound against a team which I believe is the second best in the American League. I knew it was going to be a great evening. Either Daisuke would be shelled and I'd have to listen to a 10:30pm phone call from my Dad spouting off about how the Sox wasted their money or I could call him and rub it in that Daisuke rocked the mutha-F'in house. Yeah....option #2 became a reality last night as they were leaving the Fenway.

So now that takes us to last nights game. Daisuke? Nuff said! Dude was a wizard up there. With the exception of a few huge hacks by Curtis Granderson, Daisuke was a beast. I especially loved that one pitch he blew past Gary Sheffield where the Sheff almost fell on his keyster!

The key to this game was the Red Sox batters. Now as most of you know, I'm a stats guy. I live, eat, breathe, crap this stuff out. It's my life and it pays the bills very well. So last night I started thinking about the batters and their stats. Like all season I've noticed how ALL the Sox batters like to take pitchers deep in the count. BUT, I didn't really take notice until last night.

Now Nate Robertson (Tigers) is a good pitcher. The guy gets up there and throws some quality games. He was a big part of the Tiger's success last season. The Red Sox took him for 115 pitches in 5 complete innings last night. That right, 115 pitches in 5 complete innings! We're not talking about a Mitch Williams-esque pitcher who's got the accuracy of a blind man at a skeet shooting range. We're talking about a bonafide, quality American League pitcher who had 13 wins last season in the Tigers run to the World Series. With that said, the Sox just pecked away at him all night. I saw multiple at bats go 8, 9 and even 10 pitches deep. It was just foul ball after foul ball to the point where Robertson was worn down and started to hang em out over the plate.

With most teams, it's usually one or two players who are that masterful in the batters box that they can do this. On the Red Sox, with the exception of Wily Mo, I think everyone does it and does it well. Now this probably won't be talked about by the likes of your favorite ESPN analysts, but check the box scores. The Sox batters wear down the opposing pitchers good and fast and that is why they are winning. They are getting to the bullpen early in their games. And we all know a tired bullpen early in the series leads to a big advantage for the other team in later games. To prove my point, lets look at the box scores from the pats week. Notice when the Sox do well, they wear out the starting pitcher early.

Monday: Nate Robertson - 115 pitches in 5 innings - Sox win
Sunday: Jeremy Guthrie - 91 pitches in 8 and 1/3 innings - Sox eeek out a win thanks to a tired bullpen.
Saturday: Steve "AARP" Trachsel - 102 pitches in 4 and 1/3 innings - Sox romp!
Friday: Brian Burres - 100 pitches in 5 innings - Sox lose but it sets up a tired bullpen for the rest of the weekend which helped the Sox in both Saturday and Sunday.
Thursday: Roy Halladay - 86 pitches in 5 innings - Sox win in a very non-Halladay like performance.
Wednesday: Tomo Okha - 96 pitches in 4 and 2/3 innings - Sox win
Tuesday: Victor Zambrano - 57 pitches in 2 and 2/3 innings - Sox win and Blue Jays use their bullpen very early in this game, setting up an utter mess for their staff later in the series.

The proof is in the beer folks! Read the numbers. This is going to be the reason the Sox win it all this season. They wear down that starting pitching early and then stick it to the bullpen. Now that I've brought this to your attention, watch over the next week and you'll see what I mean.

Ok well enough of that....time for work. Later people!

Balls to the Wall

I don't like losing. I especially don't like losing to the Orioles when there is an Orioles fan in my living room- luckily I didn't have to endure that. To his credit though, he was pretty good about the whole thing especially when their bullpen totally crapped out and gave up a bajillion runs. The last time I had people over to watch a game it was for the Yankmee series and one of the people was a Yankmee fan. We lost that day. New rule at Casa de Gillibeann: Parking for Red Sox Fans Only. All other fans bring bad luck.

Schilling was looking his age out there on Saturday. Third inning starts with them knowing Patterson is going to lay down a bunt, and still Schill looks lethargic trying to make the play. The whole game played like a Yanks/Sox game of yore. Long and painful. Treschel, with men on, slowed the game to a snails pace. That can't help Schill's old bones to be sitting so long in between innings. Maybe this was his penance for his comments regarding Bond's alleged steroid use. That last sentence might be the funniest I ever write on here so enjoy it.

Yesterday was a day to celebrate Mom. It was a stunning day in Washington. The days you wouldn't think exist here. 70 degrees, slight cool breeze and zero humidity. We did it up in style in a way that would make only Mom proud. We stashed ourselves in a dark and dirty bar to get our Sox fix. I was accompanied by, I hope, the newest member of Red Sox Nation. Albeit not the biggest baseball fan, I believe I saw him enjoy the game yesterday and sport a nice camo Sox hat while doing it. I remember my induction into RSN like it was yesterday. I sat on a bar stool for an entire weekend and watched the Sox battle it out in the post season in '99. I sat next to a life long Sox fan and stereotypical New England curmudgeon. There was a lot of swearing and spilling of Sam Adams that weekend. The Sox were defeated but I came away with a complete understanding of the indescribable soul crushing heartache my Father had been through for the past 40 years. I couldn't wait for the Spring.

Yesterday, it was one of those games where you want to give up, but after 2004 you always have this slight feeling that the Sox could turn it around and win. Down 5 runs in the bottom of the 9th? Pffft! Earmuff the children, settle in with a pint, and watch the most entertaining half inning of baseball all year long. It all happened so quickly, I was almost in shock. I won't go into technicals- my counterpart has perfected his play by play- so I'll play Remy here. First off, I wouldn't want to meet Youkilis in a dark alley in Southie. I truly thought he was going to punch the ump in the neck and then maybe just Izzy kick the catcher for shits and giggles. The play was close. Real close. I haven't analyzed the Zapruder film yet so I won't make any judgements.

Secondly, big ups for Captain Awesome coming through with the big hit. Tek you may be on your way to sponsoring "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up" commercials but you are still the glue of this team. And your thighs still look like they are carved out of granite. Just needed to throw that in there. Call me. K?

We were forced to watch the game on MASN with their awful announcers. B-O-R-I-N-G. Got to watch Uncle Tito's post game wrap up with Tina "Big Mouth Bass" Cervasio. He used the word "neat", "special" and "magic" at least 3 times in a two minute interview. It's like he's always talking about Christmas when he talks about those boys. He's right. They hustled on a grounder with two outs in the 9th. They forced the O's to execute a play and they forced them to error because of their hustle. That's how the game is played folks. Balls to the wall even when your down.

Beckett has 5 days to get that reoccurring blister problem under control. We meet up with the Detroit Rock City Tigers, then The Braves who were good like....I can't remember that far back. Then (cue the menacing rhythmic breathing of Darth Veder) it's off to the Bronx to pull one more brick out of the dilapidated house that Ruth built.

I know it's a day late but I want to send out a special thanks to Mama Gillibeann. Thanks for passing down your love of baseball and making sure I knew I could play it with the boys if I wanted to- or make them suffer the consequences if they didn't let me!

The Baltimore "City that Can't" Orioles

My former boss once told me that Baltimore is "The City that Can't". I never really understood what that meant until yesterday as I watched the Red Sox completely dismantle the Baltimore Orioles in the 9th inning of a game in which they clearly dominated the "good guys". It was one of those things that you can't really describe, but I'll try my best.....

Being a Sox fan, the first inning was a little hard to stomach. We saw the O's get to our "7-0 man", and apparently my twin for that matter, Josh Beckett early touching him for 2 runs right out of the gate. It was a little unnerving, but eh things happen, so I rolled with it. I said, "eh we'll light up this AAA quality pitcher to the tune of 10 or 11 runs". No problemo right? WRONG! Then this kid Jeremy Guthrie, with only 24 games pitched under his belt, comes out and completely shuts down the Red Sox offense for 8+ solid innings. I mean it was just downright awful. It got to the point where I was just hoping someone would kick me in the nuts to take away the pain of watching these Red Sox All Stars bumbling around in the batters box with the coordination of the clientèle found at your local Denny's at 3am on a Friday or Saturday night. SHAMEFUL!

But then, a ray of hope shined upon the Sox in the bottom of the night inning. It started with the incompetent O's catcher muffing a routine popup about 10 feet in front of home plate. The dude just looked stupid out there. Catch much? As if that wasn't good enough, Sam "Brains like Hot Horseshit" Perlozzo decides it's a good idea to yank Guthrie from the game in favor of the Orioles bullpen. Seriously folks, 5-0 lead or not, when is that ever the smart decision? The Red Sox don't just like the Orioles bullpen, they FEAST on it. It's like the scene in "Christmas Story" where the Bumpus' dogs get loose in the kitchen with the family turkey.....when all is said and done, there's nothing but a turkey carcass and dog piss left on the floor. The Sox just go ape-shit over this stuff. Sunday was no exception. Toss on a double, a bloop, some walks, and all of a sudden Sox were down 5-4 with Lugo up to bat and the bases chock full of goodness. From there we all know where it ended up. Sox win! Sox win! Sox win!

The best part of it all was the silence from the MASN (local O's network) announcers. Gary Thorne and Buck Martinez had never been so quiet. Those ass-clowns always have something negative to say about the Sox. They just sat there for like a full minute saying nothing. Like I actually thought I bumped mute button on the remote control as I did my patented victory dance around the living room.....yes, I pretend I'm riding a horse around the living room when the Sox or Patriots win. It was great!

All in all, it was a pretty amazing performance for a team which knows nothing about giving up. And that is why I love these guys...not in a "man-crush" sorta way, but in a "I love you maaaaan" sorta way. But just seeing this makes me thank God that I'm not an Orioles fan. No matter how bad the times got with the Sox in the late 80s / early 90s, and even Aug/Sep of last season, I can honestly say we were never as bad as the hapless O's. Thank you for being good at losing Sam and company. You guys do a great job of putting the "can't" in the "City that Can't".

We interupt this broadcast with a word from Timmmeeeeehhh.....

Thank you. Thank you Ortiz. Thank you Manny. Thank you Youk. Thank you Lowell. Thank you, from this tired old broken down knuckleballin' heart. It's about time I get some friggen run support out of you. You guys think, " Timmeeh, he throws what? 65mph? He can stand to be up there 7 or 8 innings no problem." To that I say: I'm old! Damn old and tired. I've put in long years into this team and I'm tired. Make my last few years a cake walk. I deserve it damnit!

Take a look at the picture up there. You see that shit? We are some serious badasses. I'll tell you what, that Timlin-- he's one crazy mother.....but I digress. Let's get back to the thanks at hand and take a quick look back.

There have been two games this season where I have received some substantial run support. Against LAA you gave me 10. Sweet. And last night you cranked out 8 runs. Hurray for you. You know a game is going well for us when you can hear Remmy and D-O laughing up in the box from down on the field. Not like it was that hard, Rogers Centre was pathetically empty last night.

Well, it's back to The Fens today for a series with another batch of old Birds. I'm hoping Millar doesn't sneak into our clubhouse again and pour itching powder in our jock straps while chugging Jack and screaming like a banshee. It was only funny that ONE time Kevin- now it's just sad.

Anywho-- just wanted to give a shout out to my boys for puttin up some well needed runs last night. Jobu has been good to ya'll, please don't piss him off. I'm no good at knitting hats for bats.

Ever gratefully yours,

Timmy

P.S. Happy Mother's Day Mom!! Timlin and I hunted some wild boar the other weekend. The steaks are in the mail! Try it with the pineapple mango chutney Tavarez sent you in that gift basket. That's money in the bank.

It Makes No Difference What They Say....We're Going on a Halladay!

For my first blog on here, I get to toss out some jibba-jabba about the Sox and how smokin hot they are right now. Toss on the fact I'm going to see Jet play at the DC101 Chili Cookoff tomorrow and I've been singing "It makes no difference what they say, we're going on a Halliday" all morning long.

Now I've been a pretty dedicated fan over the years, especially now that I am older, and don't go out to the bars to drink every night. During the week, my evening usually ends up sprawled out on the couch, drinking iced tea (sometimes brew), petting the cat, and watching the Sox every night. During that time, there's one thing that I dread and that's watching the Sox play the Blue Jays. I don't know what it is, but somehow, those bastards always seem to get the best of us. If it's not their mediocre "Ted Lilly-esque" pitchers throwing absolute gems (see Chacin's outing earlier this season), it's a case of aging veterans and no-named minor lead farm hands cracking the ball as if the Sox aces are throwing batting practice (see the April 23rd and April 24th homestand). I've never understood it, so I just sit there, frown, and toss down a few brews (usually by this point, I'm angry, drunk, and in no mood for iced tea) and get clawed by the cat after yelling at the television. It sucks, but what can you do?

Somehow, someway, I think the tides are turning. Just yesterday I witnessed something that I don't think I've ever seen.....I saw the Sox rough up Roy Halladay. No, I didn't stutter, I said the Sox roughed up Roy Halladay. This man has been invincible versus the Sox over the years, to the point where I don't even bother turning on the television to watch them play against him. Like the old saying goes "It's like a one-legged hooker in an ass kicking competition" with the Sox being the "one legged hooker." It just makes me sick to watch. But to my surprise, last night was different. Hell, it was unbelievable. Dude had thrown something like 60 pitches and he wasn't even out of the third inning. The bats were out in full force lead by Kevin "doubles machine" Youklis and his merry band of misfits. Bottom line, when all was said and done, the Sox roughed up our old friend Halladay to the tune of 8 runs (7 earned) in 5 innings. All I can say is WOW.

Now that takes me to my original point of writing this (however roundabout we got here). The Sox are on fire. We're 23-10, in first place in the American League East, and 7 games up on the nearest AL East team, and have the second best record in baseball (behind the pissy pant Brewers). Sure the Yankees fans and ney-sayers like Dan Shaughnessy will point out that it's only May 11th, Manny hasn't had his first temper tantrum of the season, and Coco and Drew haven't found a way to injure themselves yet, but if you think about it, we are romping on just about every team we play....including a 5-1 record versus Shaughnessy's favorite team, the Yankees. That's gotta be worth something and have the old Royal Rooters excited, right?!?!

Bottom line, I think the days of the Yankees AL East domination are over. There's a new dog in town and they are wearing navy blue and red and whoopin some ass. So grab a seat, sit back, and enjoy the ride folks. We got 6 more months of some spectacular ball to watch before we take to the streets of Boston, 5 to 6 million strong, to celebrate another World Championship.

Beyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

What's all the hubbub, bub?

Since when did people start taking what Curt Schilling says seriously? He may go down as one of the greatest pitchers in Red Sox history but ask any ( or almost any- don't ask my Mom) Sox fan and they will add one ginormous foot note to that claim; "Curt Schilling will go down in history as one of the greatest pitchers in Red Sox history, howeva, that man is a self aggrandizing blow hard." Do I care? As long as he keeps throwing K's he can call himself the second coming of Christ as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure if we wait long enough he'll make that claim too.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but don't we all have the freedom of free speech? Why was it callous for Curt to say those things about Bonds? Curt posted on his website, http://www.38pitches.com/, "Regardless of my opinions, thoughts and beliefs on anything Barry Bonds it was absolutely irresponsible and wrong to say what I did. I don’t think it’s within anyone’s right to say the things I said yesterday and affect other people’s lives in that way." "Regardless of his opinions?" Isn't that the reason for him setting up a blog in the first place? To voice his opinion on everything under the sun? I hope it wasn't for what the Curly Headed Boyfriend said it was for: "To illicit continuous stroking of his ego from his adoring fans-" or something to that effect- Dan Shaughnessy seems like the kind of guy that would use the term "stroking the ego" while smirking his smirk he smirks so well.

This tempest in a specimen cup went so far as to involve Uncle Tito, who basically told Curt to "Zip it". It boggles the mind to think that all this hubbub is being created over one baseball player claiming Barry Bonds does/did steroids. DUH! If MLB would stop seeing dollar signs from all the home runs the guy is hitting than they might have some time to tighten up the steroid testing. Why aren't people getting as outraged at the fact that players ARE using steroids as they are at the fact that some players are accusing others of using them.

To add to the ridiculousness of it all Jose Canseco chimes in. No way Jose- no you didn't just say that. YOU are calling CURT a liar and hypocrite. Geesh, you write one tell all book and you think you have cleaned your slate. Dream on, Jose.

Can't we do with Curt what we do with all troubling behavior on the Red Sox? Make a tee-shirt, start a tag line, or just stick them in the corner and watch them self destruct.